Photo by Sam Butler

I was born under the Aurora Borealis at 11:59 P.M. on December 31st, 1999. From birth, I showed a deeply advanced artistic ability. My earliest works, abstract crayon drawings, sought to capture the awesome power of the natural spectacle which at birth, was my first vision.

As I grew as a young artist, in the banal suburbs of Cleveland, my focus shifted from the awesome power of nature to the quiet power of the familial archetype. Here I began creating works on paper which deconstructed the archetypes of “Mother”, “Father”, “Sister”, and “Dog” through brutalist mark-making.

During my primary school days, I was rejected by my conservative catholic peers as I was deemed ‘too radical’, ‘too queer’, and ‘too intellectual’. To rebel I began drawing intricately rendered Dragons, the natural tormentor to god-fearing peasants of the dark ages who my dear classmates reminded me of. The skill with which these were accomplished, as well as the fact that I had skipped several grades ahead, only bred envy in my school mates, who isolated me further, eventually only referring to me as “the one our parents warned us about”.

Still raw from the cruelty of my young school mates, I dove head first into new avenues of expression in high school. It was here that I discovered the power of the theatrical space and a deep fondness for the photographic image. Over my high school career, I won starring role after starring role (save in the musicals, where my operatic bass was not appropriate for a lead part), as well as numerous certificates of achievement for works of photography and digital design. These successes would set the groundwork for my later explorations in performance, installation, and video, the mediums which would ultimately lead to my international renown.

Upon entrance to the Cleveland Institute of Art, I truly began to blossom. This was marked physically on the first morning in the school dormitories. It was on that morning I awoke to discover that my hair had miraculously turned from Brown to Blue. I excelled beyond expectation during my first year at the Institute, catching the attention of the faculty and staff. It was because of this I became the only student in the history of the school to be offered acceptance into every major despite only applying for one (Sculpture + Expanded Media, which allowed me the most creative freedom). Later, I was controversial among my peers for creating performative work that challenged the privilege and convention of my surroundings. The apex of this work came in my junior year, when I burned down an abandoned factory, a popular urban exploring location near the school, as a statement of protest against the fetishizing gaze of my affluent peers which ignored the on-going history of gentrification in the University Circle neighborhood. I graduated top of my class at CIA, but was denied the opportunity to speak at commencement as my proposed valedictory address (in which I would re-enact the music video for Sid Vicious’ cover of the Frank Sinatra classic “My Way”, a collaborative performance featuring my mother) was deemed too controversial.

Immediately after graduation I began my climb in notoriety. I have since exhibited across the globe creating installations for festivals, developing on-going collaborations with highly successful artists, and have ‘gone viral’ with several online works of media art. My meteoric rise in prominence has been the subject of much comment, drawing the attention of curators, critics, and art-lovers from around the world.

I am now currently partnered with The Guinness Book of World Records and am in the process of creating both the Largest and the Smallest Works of Art in the world

Finally, at the age of 27 I will be the victim of a freak accident during which I will be declared medically dead for several minutes, gaining me membership to the famed ‘27 Club’. However, the bizarre circumstances of this accident will mutate my body chemistry and endow me with cells which do not age or die, preserving me for the rest of eternity as a living, breathing 27 year old.



© Ben Eberle